The WTF Are You Watching?! Podcast

For Kyle's 29th birthday, he has chosen to speak about his favorite movies ever, Sergio Leone's Dollars Trilogy, those being A Fistful of Dollars (1964), For a Few Dollars More (1965), and his number one fave, The Good, the Bad, & the Ugly (1966), all starring famous squinter and chair-berater Clint Eastwood. Expect a whole ton of film analysis and making-of information as well as Kyle geeking out like nobody's business.

And remember, when you have to shoot, shoot don't talk.

TWITTER: @lincolnlhayes, @FunctionalNerd, @WTFAreUWatching

A scheduling kerfuffle means that this week has no guest and void in the viewing. To combat this, Kyle hastily chose Silver Bullet, the 1985 film about werewolves based on a Stephen King novelette. The fellows get into how Gary Busey isn't a very good uncle, the scientific probability of gas-powered wheelchairs in 1976, firework safety, and guys in bear suits. There's also a lengthy convo about Stephen King film adaptations and how faithful they are and/or ought to be. Happy times!

A completely random choice by Lincoln has given us the film The Factory, a police-procedural-cum-creepy-kidnapper movie starring John Cusack, Jennifer Carpenter, and Mae Whitman. It's a weird'n. They fellas also talk about Lincoln's recent trip to Europe. It's a short episode this week, but next week there will be a return guest and a Christopher Lambert movie, so get ready for that.

With Lincoln out of the country (the lucky sod), Kyle is joined by two lovely and hilarious ladies from LA's SecondHandSmog sketch comedy troupe, Jodie Grundin and Karli Kaiser. Together, they discuss everybody's favorite giant snake movie, Anaconda. That creates a lengthy diversion about animals that frighten them as well as 90s movies everybody loved. If you can't breath you can't scream. But you CAN laugh, turns out.

Check out Karli and Jodie's vlog about speaking Californian. It's hilarious.

TWITTER: @FunctionalNerd, @JodieGrundin, @KarliKaiser, @lincolnlhayes

As is now a What the Fuck Are You Watching?! tradition, Kyle and Lincoln are joined by their dear friend Joey "DeDang" Thomas to celebrate her birthday. That's how much they like her! In keeping with the April theme of movies that start with "A," Joey has chosen a cheapo thriller called Assassin's Bullet starring Christian Slater and Donald Sutherland. The poster makes it look like it will involve action and intrigue, but really it was a huge indulgence by its screenwriter and lead actress. Oy. Slater also provides some of the creepiest falling-in-love/orgasming-in-his-pants scenes ever committed to video. Gross. Happy Birthday, Joey!!

@WTFAreUWatching, @FunctionalNerd, @lincolnlhayes, @joeydedang

The April "A" Train keeps on a-chuggin' with the 1970 British thriller AND SOON THE DARKNESS written by veteran TV writers Brian Clemens and Terry Nation. Kyle and Lincoln also enjoy a good ol' discussion of EVIL DEAD as well as some other movies that the writer of this missive can't remember offhand. It's a banterful episode.

You know that voice at the very beginning of every episode that asks the fateful question "What the fuck are you watching?" Well, that's Lincoln's betrothed, Rachel, and she is the special guest this week! She and Lincoln do a TV podcast called Set To Record, which you ought to listen to. This week, they discuss the senseless Taylor Lautner action "vehicle," Abduction, which has way more good actors in it than it should. Kyle talks about his recent excursion to WonderCon in Anaheim and the large amount of famous people from which he was ten feet away. Trailers get a-talking as well. It's been nearly two years, people; you know how the show goes.

TWITTER: @FunctionalNerd, @lincolnlhayes, @miss_double_R, @WTFAreUWatching, @SETtoRECORD

Well, since time doesn't stand still (and remembering that Tom Waits for no one), it is with a heavy heart that we must draw Mario Bava month to a close. But what a close it is! Today we're on about his 1960 Gothic horror masterpiece, Black Sunday (known elsewhere as The Mask of Satan or The Mask of the Devil). It's about vampire witches and devil worship. So that's nice. Kyle is nearing the end of his tether this week and says things that even he can't understand. Lincoln is going to get to work on more TV shows. Lucky sod. They also discuss the new trailers for World War Z (or, more appropriately, human-ant-lemmings) and Marvel's The Wolverine. And if you want a potted history of film censorship, then this is your episode.

This week's film has more titles than any other movie in history. On Netflix, it's called Bay of Blood, but we prefer to call it Twitch of the Death Nerve. How evocative! It's one of horror cinema's most influential films. And it's a Mario Bava movie, in case you hadn't guessed. Elsewhere this week, Kyle had kidney stones but then saw a Clippers' game so that makes up for it. Lincoln saw a stage musical called Once which he just will not be quiet about. They also discuss new trailers and argue over the correct pronunciation of the name "Guillermo." Next week, we finish Mario Bava Month with a veritable classic: Danger Diabolik!... Just kidding, it's a better one than that.

More Mario Bava!! This week, the gothic horror film Operazione Paura, known to most English speakers as Kill, Baby, Kill. Title doesn't really mean anything, but there you have it. Also discussed are trips to screenings, the majesty of Sam Elliot, lessons in Manhattan geography, injuries accrued while running, and the way in which mist tells people to leave town. Italian horror cinema is our new forte...